Time's Up

I knew awhile ago, but as of Dec 31st, the job I held is being eliminated. This is the second time this year I will have been laid off by the same company. Which is lovely because it means they liked me enough the first time to bring me back a second. But bad because I am being 'dumped' for the second time by a 'boyfriend' I really loved. This company was much more than a job to me. For the first time, I really felt like I was part of something bigger. That what I said mattered to more than just the papers on my desk I could touch. People at my work thought I was smart, and funny. When my personal world was crashing around me, this mattered more than I can say. And now I am leaving, for what I am pretty sure is the final time. And I am sad. And worried. And scared.